Saw: Cakes and Keys
by SeanyBlueBoy
Summary: The story of the trapment of ordinary teenagers. Rachel, Richard, Martin, Fizz, Laura and Aaron, face the horrors of the cake and the keys. *Do not take this seriously, its just a mess around and full of jokes, please, just enjoy*
1. Series 1: Chapter 1

Saw: Cake and Keys  
Chapter 1: Game 1  
(Chapter 1 is written by Sean, Richard and Rachel)

Sean says:

The Saw Game:

Hello Rachel, what you see around your head is a cupcake holder, each cupcake has a special irresitible taste, however, Richard LOVES cupcakes, if he eats the cakes on your neck, your head will explode, and his leg will be blown off.

If you can both compramise and find a way out, you will both survive; the key to the cupcake holder is in your belly, however, you will have to cut it open with a spoon.

Make your choice, live or die.

Rachel says:

LIVE!

Rachel says:

rich stick the cakes down my throat so i throw up and then get the key! quickkkk!

Rachel says:

or i die HURRY UP!

Richard says:

or you could just eat teh cakes yourself?

Rachel says:

im tied to soemthing arnt i

Sean says:

Oh, can I add

Sean says:

Rich is blind now, until Rachel is free.

Richard says:

i put the spoon in your throat to make you puke an then you direct me to the key

Rachel says:

haha rich cant see my nipples mwahahaha

Richard says:

coz i cant see the cakes i cant eat them  
Sean says:

So, Rich made you puke, and now he has to find the key  
Rachel says:

ermmm, left then right abit then walk 3 baby steps bend down WOO! then grab the key

Richard says:

i OWWW

Richard says:

found something hard

_  
_Rachel says:

u found it?  
Richard says:

with my shin

Richard says:

its a bloody big bugger

Rachel says:

er... right then left a bit

Rachel says:

then 3 baby steps

Rachel says:

then ur back to me

Richard says:

*slips in puke*

_  
_Richard says:

i have the key

Rachel says:

yes and im padlocked to a fucking iron box!

Rachel says:

throw me the key!

Richard says:

but to get the device from my leg i have to get another key from Martin on the celing

Rachel says:

how the fuck did he gt up there like?

Sean says:

3:43 minutes left...

Rachel is crying

Richard says:

but i knock him from the celing with the key, he opens the lock on my leg, then use the other key to get rach free  
Sean says:

Excuse me

Sean says:

I must attend to another trap

Rachel says:

sean jigsaw! get ur arse back here!

Rachel says:

dont make me throw a cupcake at u!  
_  
_ Sean Reddie comes back.

Sean says:

Oh look, 1 minute left

Sean says:

Cant miss the finale

Rachel says:

rich help!

Richard says:

err we have gotten out the traps

Richard says:

if you havent noticed

_  
_ Sean says:

Shit!!  
Rachel says:

Okay

Rachel says:

now wha?

Rachel says:

considering we have 2 people now

Rachel says:

even harder

Sean comes in on a little bicycle.

Rachel says:  
HAHAHA!!  
Sean says:

Well done, you defeated the urge to eat the cupcakes, and co-operated.

Sean says:

Unfortunately

Sean says:

Im afraid this game isnt over.

Sean says:

Im not afraid really, im quite enjoying myself!

Rachel says:

FUCK YOU BITCH!  
_  
_The game will continue in Chater 2.


	2. Series 1: Chapter 2

Saw: Cake and Keys  
Chapter 2  
(Chapter 2 is written by Sean, Richard and Rachel)

Sean says:

This room is planted with cake guns, if you dont get out one way or another, you will be shot to death by cakes.  
The key to the door is inside of that dead body at the bottom of the pool, 7 meters deep...you have a period of 3 minutes, to get down there, cut his head off, get the key, and open the door, with this CROWBAR!  
Or you'll be killed by cakes...LET THE GAME BEGIN!**  
**  
Rachel says:

rich wakey wakey!

Rachel says:

I have organ grinder playing here aswell  
Sean says:

Oh, I quite like that song, very soothing.  
Sean says:

But now hurry!

Sean says:

2 minutes remain

Rachel says:

RICH.. WAKE UP we have 2 mins to... fuck it, read above

Rachel says:

I cant swim

Rachel says:

and im scared of water  
Sean says:

Im bored, your time is upped to 3 minutes again.  
Rachel says:

jumps in pool whilst crying

Sean says:

2 minutes remain...

Sean says:

For fucks sake, all you have to do is cut his head off and get the key, God this is boring...  
Rachel says:

grabs crowbar, jumps in pool, swims to bottom, and grabs dead body... ew ew ew ew

Rachel says:

rich now grab the crowbar and smack his head off

Richard says:

*smacks*

Rachel Faints.

Sean says:

She fainted...

Sean says:

you have a minute to open the door aswell...

Richard says:

*picks up rach puts on sholder runs to dor an opens it*

Rachel wakes up...

Sean says:

Im afraid only one must survive, you are both given cake guns, who will survive, who will die, make you choice.

And yes, I like cakes, so what...  
Rachel says: says:

ILL DIE

Rachel says:

i dont mind

Richard says:

hmmm

Richard says:

*robs gun from rach*

Richard says:

watch this *puts guns by final door and overloads them*

Richard says:

YOU MIGHT WANT TO DUCK

Rachel says:

*ducks*

Richard says:

BOOM

Richard says:

bye bye door

Rachel says:

haha were amazing

Sean says:

No-ones actually done that before...  
Sean says:

You are let free, but, dont do drugs...  
Drugs are baaad...mmmkaay?  
Rachel says:

mmmkaay mr jigsaw mmkay  
Sean Reddie - Organ Grinder - I Paid For Your Silence says:

Mmmkay, I was messing, yknow?

*Gas pours in knocking out Rachel and Richard.*

The game will continue in Chapter 3.


	3. Series 1: Chapter 3

Saw: Cake and Keys  
Chapter 3  
(Chapter 3 is written by Sean, Richard, Rachel and Aaron)

Sean Reddie - Organ Grinder - I Paid For Your Silence says:

Aaron, you are strapped to a wooden block, and termites are eating up the beam, in 20 minutes they will fully devour you, you have to escape from the beam, but even if you escape, you'll be eaten by the termites, and if the termites eat the full beam...Rachel will be crushed by a bunch of chickens on the beam she is strapped to.

Martin is free, but Richard is trapped under a pool of blood, the key is in Rachels mouth, but if you save Richard, the termites will get fiercer.

Make your choice, live or die.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

Rachel says:

wtf? this game gets worse

Richard says:

aint it obv what to do?

Aaron says:

hhmm...

what if I sold that chickens to a farmer?

Sean says:

I killed the farmer, hes over there *points*  
Aaron says:

ohhhh...right...  
Rachel says:

please rich praytell

Rachel says:

oooo what if i ask all the chickens for sex. they wont kill me then ?

Sean Reddie - Organ Grinder - I Paid For Your Silence says:

Your strapped to a beam

Rachel says:

thats aaron read u fucking retard

Sean says:

you BOTH are

Rachel says:

shitt!

Richard says:

Martin pushes rach and the bench away from the chickens, and frees her then you both use the blood to drown the termites and then all 3 of you freee me then we all escape on the block of Wood

Richard says:

DONE

Rachel says:

amazing!

Sean says:

...  
Rachel says:

SHIIIIT!! Should of thought of this more through...  
Rachel says:

jigsaw ur shit!

Rachel says:

ur not really ur sexy

Sean shoots Aaron, Richard and Martin.

Sean says:

That'll narrow our victims down, and now to add Law and Fizz!! Muhaha!!!

*Blackens out*

The game will continue in Chapter 4.


	4. Series 1: Chapter 4

Saw: Cake and Keys  
Chapter 4  
(Chapter 4 is written by Sean, Fizz, Law and Rachel)

Sean says:

The Game:

Rachel, you are hanging from the ceiling upside down on an unbreakable thread forced to watch Dora The Explorer, if you watch it for more than 15 minutes, your brain will explode out your ears.

Law has a pair of headphones plugged into Celine Deons 'My Heart Will Go On.'

Fizz is free to do as they please,but remember.

Turning the tv off on Rachel will kill Law, and taking the headphones out off the TV on Law will kill Rachel.

Make your choice, live or die

Law says:

i like that song so im happy

Sean Reddie - Organ Grinder - I Paid For Your Silence says:

*Turns the song into Heavy black metal*

Law says:

:(  
**Electric Fizz** says:

o sweet man

**Electric Fizz** says:

aha hmhm.

Sean says:

Who do you free, and how?

Sean says:

You have 15 minutes before all three of you die!

Law says:

*thinks* come on i cant figer this out and im 17 man

**Electric Fizz** says:

kick the tv over while knocking the ear phones out ?

Law says:

charmin

Law says:

sure kill me

**Electric Fizz** says:

isnt that saving u both?

Sean says:

So kicking the tv over will knock the headphones out her ear, but still be in, but not turning the tv off on Rachel...  
Sean says:

but

Sean says:

Rachel is still hanging  
Law says:

dam it

Sean says:

I do ask though: How do you plan on breaking the unbreakable thread without her blood rushing to her brain within 10 minutes?  
**Electric Fizz** says:

cut the rope with the wire from the broken tv

Sean' says:

Rachel falls and breaks her neck

Sean says:

How unfortuante...

Sean says:

Unless Law saved you

Rachel says:

law saved me then

Law says:

hah i saved you

Sean says:

Now that you are all saved....  
You are all randomly attached to a mouse and have a giant box on your head. The mouse loves cheese, but if the mouse goes out so far, your heads will detatch themselves on the metal infront of you.

You have to stop the mouse somehow, while saving each others mouses from running away.  
**Electric Fizz** says:

ah cant u just kill the mouse pfft.

Sean says:

It'll run away, and you'll have no head...

**Electric Fizz** says:

cut ur head off before so it doesnt matter anymore.

Rachel says:

no fizz! dont give up i haave a plan

**Electric Fizz** says:

oo im not giving up

**Electric Fizz** says:

just we can be headless

Rachel says:

hmm use some of the cheese to draw the mouse towards you and catch it

Rachel says:

do that fiz

Sean Reddie - Organ Grinder - I Paid For Your Silence says:

The cheese is in a locked box on the other side of the room, the key is in Laws arm

Rachel says:

im guessing that as the mouse moves you mover closer to a shap peice of metal/

Law says:

i got an idea  
Law says:

pull the mouse by the tail

Sean says:

you cant bend down, you have a box on your head

Law says:

dam it  
Law says:

stand on the mouses tail so it cant move

Sean says:

...Congrats...  
Law says:

reali?

Law says:

YAY!

Law says:

what a guess

Sean says:

but you have to get to the box and get the key out of your arm

Sean says:

WITHOUT THE MOUSE RUNNING OFF!!

**Electric Fizz**:. says:

DRUGS

Rachel says:

ill stay back and stre the mice, and then u 2 go get the cheese

Law says:

get a big stick and get the key out of your arm then use the stick to put the key in the box And away we go

Rachel says:

WOO!

Sean says:

Once your have the mouse in your posession, put it on your head

Sean says:

it'll undo the box

Sean says:

Ohshit

Sean says:

I wasnt suppose to tell you that

Rachel says:

JIGSAW SWORE!

Rachel says:

places mouse on head

Rachel says:

woo its dancing

Rachel says:

joins in dancing

Law says:

*puts mouse on head* oww it bit me

**Electric Fizz** says:

haha.

Law says:

*Blowjob*

Rachel says:

Ohh aye!

Sean Reddie - Organ Grinder - I Paid For Your Silence says:

..Okay i'll work with that

**Electric Fizz** says:

aha oo.

Sean says:

In your next room, you see a man giving another man a blowjob, if you stop them, you'll die, if they see you, you'll die

**Electric Fizz** says:

give them free condoms?

**Electric Fizz** says:

and LUBEEE

Sean says:

Shut up Law, you talk too much, I hope you disconnect and die.

*Law Disconnects"

Sean says:

Wow, what where the odds of that?  
Rachel says:

looks like its just me and fizzical

**Electric Fizz** says:

oo

**Electric Fizz** says:

right

Rachel says:

GIRL POWER!

Sean says:

You have to get past the blowjob men

**Electric Fizz** says:

oh yershh

**Electric Fizz** says:

hmhm

Sean says:

I repeat

Sean says:

If they see you

Sean says:

you will die.

**Electric Fizz** says:

and how does that work ey

Sean says:

There is a bomb in your neck

Sean says:

It is set off at the eyes of them

Rachel says:

throws drugs at them we both hide, they sme the drugs and we get past

Rachel says:

WOOP!

**Electric Fizz** says:

oo yer distract then

Rachel says:

they were too high to see us

**Electric Fizz** says:

haha ah well done

Rachel says:

i wanna use my other way its so complx

Rachel says:

my other way was: turn the light off and walk around the edge of the room till you find the other door

Sean says:

QUICK, SOMEONE IS DROWNING IN PASTA!

Cynthia: Heelp me you pricks!

If SHE DIES, THE DOOR CLOSES FOOREEEEVVEEEER,

to stop the pasta, you have to let the steaming hot pasta melt your face to get to the other side of the room, turn the switch off, while the girl comes safely into your arms

**Electric Fizz** says:

ew

**Electric Fizz** says:

no thanks

Rachel says:

cant ya just run to the door, and go through it cos its open already

Sean says:

Yes

Sean says:

But Cynthia will die

Sean says:

And she is your long lost cousins daughter

Rachel says:

i dont care, i never liked my long lost cousin anyway

Sean says:

Oh look, she has no legs

Sean says:

or arms

Sean says:

quick

Sean says:

her heads going

Sean says:

the doors going to lock

Rachel says:

were already through u dumbass

Sean says:

you can either go forward, and die

or there is a vent next to you, but i dont know how you'd get that open

Rachel says:

fine we wont continue simple init jigsaw no fun for you mwhahah

Sean says:

Then i'll just blow the warehoseu up

**Electric Fizz** says:

haha i have a protective egg costume

**Electric Fizz** says:

in ur face biacch

Rachel says:

fizz has that suit and it holds two cos were so thin

Sean Reddie - Organ Grinder - I Paid For Your Silence says:

*Place blows up*

Rachel says:

egg suit!

Sean says:

Well done, you finished the test

Sean says:

The game is over

Rachel says:

finds jigsaw outside and beats him senceles

Rachel says:

yer but me and fizz ared still alive and were amazing

Sean says:

*You both randomly appear in my house*

Sean says:

Hello, as you can tell your strapped to a chair

Rachel says:

3sum

Sean says:

I am never beaten

Sean says:

No-one wins

Sean says:

Except Amanda

Sean says:

But I killed her anyway

Sean says:

Im going to leave you, and everything is padded with acid, so touch it with your bare skin you will be burned,but you have to break the wall down somehow,anything you touch will burn, if you break the wall down, you will have to go through the ogran grinder, which will grind you organs, so living is pretty much futile.

**Electric Fizz** says:

oo woah

**Electric Fizz** says:

i eat the acid

Rachel says:

fizz wha we gonna do?

Sean says:

the acid will kill you

**Electric Fizz** says:

get high obvs

**Electric Fizz** says:

thats what u think

Rachel says:

we win!

Sean says:

Mmhmmm

Sean says:

You win

Sean says:

*Randomly dies*

Rachel says:

Woop!

Saw: Cakes and Keys series 1 is finished.  
Series 2 is coming soon.


End file.
